Well…this is it guys.
We’ve been through so much, and here I am abandoning all of you because I feel like I can’t keep up.
I’m tired. I’m tired of forcing out my muse on every post I write. I’m tired of trying to keep threads going and wait for everyone who seems to have forgotten me.
I’m tired of how toxic this fandom can be.
I’ve seen the worst of it play out on my dash, and really, I don’t want to be a part of it anymore.
For the most part, however, the people who follow me and that I follow are good at avoiding that. And I thank them for doing their best to not tarnish themselves and ruin what makes humanity at least somewhat decent.
But that isn’t enough to keep me here.
I need time to think, to rest. To spend time not on here, and instead go after real life things that have value and importance to me.
Maybe I’ll come back. There’s always the chance of it, yeah. Is it likely? Not really, no.
But I made friends here, and that may be enough to call me back.
Not anytime soon though.
Have fun, everyone.
Watching him she could have sworn he was going to smile. Something that would have made her cry from joy. She honestly wanted to make him happy, he always seemed so blank, almost sad. Though she realized that was her forcing emotions on the man. Looking at him then the couch she nodded and slowly stood up.
"Sorry..just what im use to..i will remember that from now on.. thank you"
Sitting on the couch with him she looked down at her tea cup before putting it back on the tray. Placing her hands in her lap she did not know what else to say. Opting to grab a sandwich half and slowly started to eat it.
"is the tea to your liking?"
A smile, most probably, would actually have the effect of being somewhat painful against usually together flanges, actions of enjoyment and happiness having been forgotten more than a few millennia ago.
Not that he’d call that a particular shame, there was definitive reasoning for the abrupt discontinuation of happiness inside his form.
"I understand why it was that you were so quick to settle into a different position, Jaden. It’s what you are familiar with, for good or for bad, and I simply wish you to adopt a different habit when in my presence."
The apparent uncertainty that cloaked her wasn’t seen as overly bad, instead simply a quick, and subconscious, reaction to the fact that she was suddenly in an environment that was unusual to her.
"Yes, yes. I couldn’t have made it better myself."
Looking down at him on the couch she smiled, noting that he had a face for once Jaden could not help but bounce a little before settling down on the ground. Her tail wagging as she sat there looking up at him. Nodding at his words she flushed a little looking at the sandwhiches before she responded.
"i figured, i never have seen you eat before..this is the first time i have even seen you with a mouth."
Laughing softly she fiddled with her skirt before leaning in and gently taking a tea cup, sipping it softly looking up at him. Her tail never stopping as he she sat there. Looking quite pleased with herself.
"um if you want anything else just tell me Doc!"
The extreme sense of happiness she held so close at the new sensory information over his face was almost enough to coax forth a smile from pallid lips, but almost wasn’t actually enough. Instead, it furthered downward the frown that exhibited itself freely over icen flanges, moreso a decision over her idea of sitting on the ground.
"You are allowed to sit next to me on the couch, Jaden. While the floor is clean enough where your clothes won’t get dirty, you’re enforcing an idea that I’m above you with what you’re doing.”
She wasn’t intentionally demeaning herself, he knew, but early manners of how to conduct herself with another, and give in to more animalistic demands of character, weren’t exactly a great showcase of equality.
Lithe digits were soon to find his cup and thread one finger through the handle, careful measure of pull being made to bring himself a small sip of the drink, finding it pleasurable enough in the short term.
It warmed him slightly, and that was all that was wanted.
Jaden liked being around him because unlike with most others she never felt the weight of what he was feeling on her emotions. Everything she felt was able to blossom and become full real emotions, never to be muddled or squashed by his own.
Though she did not know he did not even have emotion. She would have sat there and been upset by the very idea of someone unable to be just happy.
Feeling him flinch she let go, not upset by the fact he did not hold her back. Doc had never even tried to touch her. Something that shocked the girl when she first realized that.
Bouncing off before he could respond she would have told him that she had the hive memorized and that she would be back in no time. It didnt take long for her to come back with two rather large cups of tea as well as what looked like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, placing the tray on a table she smiled.
"i made food as well.. though i didnt know if you ate so i made something simple.."
A characteristic plus of having a guardian that forbade the crushing oppression that was only known as a humanistic condition; Minds warped and made to appease the presence of a heart that seemed as entirely metaphorical as it was physical.
While that left himself empty, discarded, it made room for all others.
Better that she didn’t take his action to heart, it wasn’t something that was meant to fully push her away or indicate a general dissatisfaction with what she had done. Instead, simple surprise over a closeness he didn’t confide in, usually, was what drove him to react so abruptly.
When she returned, she would find him seated lazily upon the main couch that dominated the center of the room, himself tapping apathetic digits against his leg as a surprisingly humanistic face sat atop his shoulders.
A new thing for her, probably, but no less different to him.
"Thank you, Jaden….Though I tend to disregard eating entirely, I’m sure I’ll enjoy what you made for me."
Outdoing her master was not something the girl ever thought about, she just wanted to make him happy. Following behind him she kept up easily knowing his pace well by now as well as the place he called home. Her bag slung over her shoulder she was moving before the wave, his body languge was becoming easier for the girl to read and she was proud of that fact.
Jaden never thought about how easy it was to make her happy it was just how she was. Part of being a dog, and something they put in her to make her a better pet. Who wanted a slave that was upset all the time right?
When he winced she stopped and looked at him, blinking for a moment she did the one thing she never thought about with Doc, wrapping her arms around him she hugged the far taller man close.
"i know where the tea is from last time…"
She let him go after a bit, standing there for a moment before going off to make that tea.
While she distinctly lacked the drive to try and demean him by rising herself above him in status, pertaining solely to some form of emotional balance, there were times where she inadvertently displayed a form of dominance over him that came only from the fact she had emotions; Something he was completely lacking.
He couldn’t blame her for it, she seemed entirely blind to it all, and spiting him was an act reserved for others, but not her.
Another resounding flinch echoed outward as she suddenly intruded upon his space and lending him the warmth of her form in purely platonic desires to see him content.
Failing to return her gesture, in fact, failing to do anything but remain quiet as she kept herself far too close to him than any other had dared to do, he simply allowed himself to stop and wait it out, unsure of what was being felt on the receiving end of her manners.
Happiness? No, that required enjoyment, satisfaction. Both of which he had none of. Contentment? Hardly so, he wasn’t entirely at ease with his mind, even with a calming motion put forth by her.
"Are you sure? It’s easy to get lost here…" Meaningless warnings were slow to be spoken, her retreating form marking when they actually came to fruition, sigh wracking his shoulders as a gloved hand rubbed against the back of his immaculate dome, resuming a languid step that would take him to his common area.
"…What’s wrong with me?"
To Jaden he was a good friend, a being she trusted compeatly, though he had never given her any reason to not trust him. Smiling her tail was already wagging before he even said anything beyond hello.
Smiling and moving closer to him she frowned for a moment. He seemed upset almost distracted. Watching him shut the door she nodded, he was always so polite.
The fact he did not have eyes or a face never bothered her now a days. It was odd at first but she just pretended he was wearing a mask. Smiling she bounced a little as she responded.
"Thank you Doc! Would you like for me to make some tea and maybe sit with you?"
Even before an answer had been adopted by her, of which he hadn’t expected her to actually overclock her mind to the point where she could outdo him, he’d begun to allow tired soles to tap lightly across the ground as he began to walk back within the Labyrinth that was his home, lackluster wave denoting he desired her to walk with him, at least for now.
Happiness, to some, was viewed as a contagious act of delight. She seemed to exclude the feeling in abundance, and yet, he felt nothing more than grinding remorse and depression.
How was that fair?
Though, with that thought, a discouraging wince threw his body out of normally placid movement for a single step, unsure where that feeling of entitlement came from.
Life wasn’t fair. He knew that, and yet he had forgotten that.
What was wrong with him?
"…I suppose a cup of tea would be nice. Yes, that will do, thank you."
By now she was use to him and smiled looking at him where she assumed his face would be. Smiling at the man she walked into his home she was honestly happy about seeing him again. Doc was one of the few masters that she really enjoyed being around. He treated her like a real person and not like some sort of toy.
"yes! hello! its nice to see you again "
Speaking lightly as she entered she smiled beeming as she looked around, a small bounce in the girls steps. Turning to him she stood there waiting for a moment unsure of what to do..
"should i go to my room? or do you want me to do anything for you right now Doc?"
It was nice, he’d allow, to have a charge that didn’t partake in the regular ritual of treating him as the outsider; Different from all others masters in every particular way, be it unconditional platonic affection, lack of reason to actually be in this business besides being the helping hand, as well as looks.
She accepted him for all his quirks that were present, viewing him much as he did to her.
"Yes, quite." Distracted responses to her greeting held volumes of information, never before sweeping her attention away as quickly as he’d just encroached, usually offering only the highest manners to her.
A single step allowed the door to be closed once she’d safely walked past the radius it would hit, turning upon a whitened heel to peer down at her, or at least, offer the illusion of vision.
"You can do what you wish for the day, Jaden. I have no work that needs to be done, but I also do not wish to confine you to your room.
The choice is yours.”
> This was the third time he had her and it was almost a joy because she knew what this master wanted from her. Nothing. Which had bothered her at first but honestly now it excited the girl. Bouncing in to the car she hung her head out of the window as they drove off. Bright green hair streaming behind her.
> Barking at anyone who dared stare at the girl Jaden smiled the entire way. Her hair a wreck by the time she was dropped at the masters door step. She was a good slave and the men left her behind. Knowing she would not run away.
Once again marking himself as the preeminent exultation of the word, white shoes tapped despairingly slow against white-marble floors, the only place that a sound could ever be achieved. Bright, light tones of hard surfaces interacting in forceful harmony, bright green hues even going so far to follow after the reverberations to ease a conflicted mind.
Why did he continue to house slaves within his home?
Such a question wasn’t new, nor unfounded, but it remained a secret from all others that could potentially sway him one way or another.
Taking him out of the game, or keeping him in, would lend a huge advantage to certain parties.
Whisking away continued thoughts with an elongated sigh, white-gloved fingers reached forward to pull open the magnificent door of green that dominated the entrance to his home, the other side being occupied by no one other than Miss Jaden.
"Come in, come in."
╬Ah, then that’s easy, I would much rather be openly hostile with you.╬
"As you wish. I can’t punish you for delving into your feelings as they relate to me."
╬Then why on earth would you bother requesting something that you know will never come to be?╬
"I see you failed to take into account my word choice regarding the matter.
I don’t wish to hold a conversation that is veiled by bitterness, or otherwise, blanketed by said feeling in its entirety.”